Beer Good
by Ozfan
Summary: Two enemies bond over beer and frustration over the Slayer after her "Everybody Sucks But Me" speech from Get It Done. Sorry, no slash! Just friendship!
1. Default Chapter

**Beer Good**

**by**** ozfan**

_Written post-Get It Done. Two enemies bond over beer and frustration over Buffy._

_*****_

1 am and no one good on Conan. Xander turned off the TV, restless as hell and wishing he were anywhere but here, in Buffy's living room, listening to the snores of endless slayers in training. Everyone had gone to sleep, but Xander wasn't tired. Well, not true. He was tired of a lot of things. Tired of Buffy's speeches, tired of the strange tension of being around Anya so much, tired of not having a life anymore. He stood up, stretched, then headed out to the back porch, looking for fresh air, but only getting the smell of cigarette smoke instead.

"Haven't seen you smoke in a while," Xander said to the shadows where he knew Spike stood.

There was a pause before Spike answered. "Haven't been that stressed til now… that n' the price is bloody ridiculous for these things now."

"So, do you have a How To Be A Badass Again checklist that you've going down? Stinky leather duster. Check. Cigarettes. Check. Killing of Demons… Check."

"Knocking Xander on his ass now that I'm chip-free's the last item on that list," Spike added pleasantly.

"Aw, come on. We're buds now!"

"Bullshit."

"Yeah, I know. Want a beer?"

"Sure, why not."

Xander went back inside, rooted through the fridge, and grabbed two beers from the vegetable drawer. God only knew how long they had been there, but his nerves were frayed and he needed a beer.

Xander walked back outside and held out a beer toward Spike, who looked at the silver label on the bottle and rolled his eyes. 

"That beer is crap."

"Yes, but it is the only crap available in the fridge," Xander said, handing Spike the bottle and then taking a long draw from his . His face crunched up in displeasure.

"Oh, man. Not only is this beer crap. It is _skunked crap." Xander shrugged and drank some more anyway. Spike practically downed the beer in one gulp. _

"So…" Xander began, "Judges have officially ruled that Buffy's Newest Speech gets a thumbs down from everyone in the house." He sat down and leaned back against the post, looking out over the back yard.

Spike let out a derisive snort. "Yeah. Well. Like you said, she's the bloody boss of the lot of you."

"Oh, but not you?" Xander asked, eyebrows raised.

Spike finished off the beer, grimacing in distaste. "Now, I didn't say that." He shrugged. "She was right, anyway. It needed to be said. 'Bout me, anyway. It's better for the fight in the end."

"Buffy is reminiscing about when you used to want to kill her and you think you're better for it? I mean, I hate you with every fiber of my being, of course, but I think she was out of line."

Spike stared off angrily into space, nodding in agreement. "Tell me about it. Bloody hypocritical. 'Sides, when hasn't anyone done anything she commanded? We do nothing but what she orders us to, and it isn't enough."

"Yeah!" Xander nodded enthusiastically.  "And, you know, between you and me… sometimes I think her judgment is impaired. Willow told me she was offered more power… granted, it was dark, demony power, but she refused it. Meanwhile, she's demanding that you and Willow embrace your inner evil psycho to do her bidding. What the hell?"

"Yeah!" Spike said.

Then there was a very awkward pause. Xander and Spike frowned at each other in confusion, then looked away. 

"Being in love with Buffy totally sucks ass," Xander said after a while, to break the silence.

"You still love her then?" Spike said casually, taking another drag from his smoke before putting it out under his boot.

"Nah. I mean, I guess, really, it wasn't 'in love,' more like, a 16-year-old's huge horny crush… It sure seemed like love though. Buffy's a tough one."

"She's the Slayer. Supposed to be tough."

"She wasn't always… like this though. I don't know." Xander smiled faintly. "What the hell do I know about love? I'm just a carpenter who left his bride at the alter, right?"

Spike laughed a little at that. He lit another cigarette. "Asking the wrong man, mate. I'm just a twisted ex-killer who got a soul for a girl who doesn't give a toss about him."

Xander sighed. Spike sighed. Xander finished his crappy, skunked beer and put it down with a thud.

"That's it. We need real beer. And we need to get away from all this twisted, sick, insanity."

"You mean The First?" Spike said.

"No. I mean women." Xander stood up and brushed himself off. "I'll buy the first round."

Spike glanced over at Xander. He considered for a moment, then shrugged. "You're on."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_This is a new chapter 2. I took the other one down a while back because I ended it rather abruptly, wasn't really happy with it, and forgot about continuing the story, but what the hell… I couldn't put it out of my head. Feedback is welcome as I have no idea where the hell this story is going and I know that's awful to admit but hey, at least I'm honest. _

***

"So I see them walking together and then, bam, he punches my goddamn lights out. Later he told me it was the whole 'Angelus act' and that he had to convince Faith he was eeevil but I know he loved doing it."

"Wanker," Spike agreed, munching on fries after finishing off a very nice pint of Guinness. "Faith sounds like a real peach."

"Oh, you'd love her. Insane. I mean, violently insane. She'd give Drusilla a run for her money."

"Perhaps I'll look her up if she ever visits town. Sounds like my kind of trouble," Spike said, aiming for nonchalant but merely sounding petulant. He sighed and stared into his beer.

"Don't try the whole 'make Buffy jealous' thing," Xander advised. "It backfired at my wedding, remember?"

"Your _wedding _backfired at your wedding, idiot," Spike said reasonably. He gestured at the waitress for another round and looked at the dance floor. The Bronze was packed with beautiful women. There was a young blonde thing, dancing away in the corner. Dancing kind of like her, first time he saw her. This one was looking at him with a small smile, an invitation. This one was taller, more curvy, probably much, much nicer too. Her smile spread as she noticed him watching her. He could just go right up there, turn on the charm, give one of his patented grins.

He had no desire to do so whatsoever.

"I really, really want to kill something," Spike muttered after the waitress dropped off their beers.

"Beer first, then death to evildoers everywhere, okay?"

"Right." Spike was glad to see he had his priorities in order. He looked over at Xander, genuinely puzzled. "Why do you stay?" he asked after a long companionable silence.

The question caught Xander by surprise. "Low rent. Ample job opportunities. Weather's great. And I love Buffy, Willow, and Dawn." Xander shrugged. "They're home to me."

"And Anya?"

Xander looked away. "I'll always love her, but it didn't work."

"How do you… let go?" Spike asked quietly.

"Once I figure it out, I'll let you know."

"Thanks." They shared a rueful grin, then Xander frowned down at the table.

"Did I say you could eat _all _my fries? Dude, I said one. ONE."

***

The first shot seemed like a good idea. The second one seemed like an even better one. Now, at 2 am, Xander was totally shitfaced and even Spike seemed a tad sloshed. 

"I'm closing up now, guys. Time to go." 

"I GOT NOWHERE ELSE TA GOOOO!!!" Xander suddenly screamed in agony, his faced scrunched up as if in pain.

"Hey, I know that one! _Officer and a Gentleman_, right?" Spike said, pleased with himself. The bartender just frowned at both of them.

"Yeah, goodnight then," Spike said, throwing a tip down on the bar, grabbing Xander's arm, and pulling him out the door. 

"Now that was a happy ending. Carrying his girl off in his arms. Most romantic movie ever," Xander slurred as they walked through the dark streets of Sunnydale.

"Bollocks. Ever see Sid and Nancy?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Oooh, making out by a dumpster is just sooo romantic. Trash everywhere. Girls just love that shit. Nothing says romance like alley sex."

Spike looked chagrined. "Yeah, probably right about that. Not one of our finest moments."

"Whose finest what? Huh?" Xander asked, confused.

"Nothin. Oh, look! Nasty bringers! Over here!" Spike called and waved his arms to change the subject. 

"Why don't you make us more obvious to eyeless evil people everywhere," Xander said, before ducking as the two Bringers attacked. They had appeared out of nowhere, as evil eyeless Bringers were wont to do, and Xander was really in no mood to fight against a guy with a machete when all he had was a piece of gum in his pocket. He looked over at Spike, who had just snapped the neck of the first Bringer. Spike looked up at Xander, grinned, then grabbed a knife from his boot and tossed it at him. Instinctively, Xander turned and stabbed the second Bringer guy right in the heart. He went down with a thud.

"Nice shot," Spike said dryly. "Clean that before you return it to me."

Xander looked down at the stained knife. He shrugged. "No problem. You really have to teach me how to break necks like that. It seems to come in handy."

"Little help here!" came a voice from the direction of where the Bringers had been. Xander and Spike looked at each other, then headed toward the voice. 

The girl was sitting on the ground, a bag by her side, blood dripping from her nose, a gun in one hand and a stake in another. She looked up at Xander and Spike as they approached.

"California. I fucking hate this state." She frowned up at them. "Why didn't you let me shoot those creepy assholes anyway?"

Xander gave the young girl a hand up. She looked about 14, with dark hair and pale skin and what sounded like a Brooklyn accent. "We're macho that way. Next time we'll leave you alone. We'll show you to Buffy's house."

"You know Buffy Summers?" the girl said, her eyes growing wide. "This is so exciting. I finally get to meet the Slayer."

"Heard of her, have you?" Spike said, smiling slowly. "Must've heard of Spike, then, too?"

The girl shook her head.

"William the Bloody?"

"Uh, nope."

"Great!" Spike shouted in disgust.

"Welcome to the World of the Sidekick, Spike," Xander said.

"I. Am. NOT. A. Sidekick," Spike bit out, frowning at the girl, then at Xander, before stalking off toward home.

"What's his problem?" the girl said, putting her gun back in a holster within her jacket.

"Must be that time of the month. Come on, let's get you situated." Xander shook the girl's hand, helped her with her bag, and off they went, behind the skulking vampire.


End file.
